I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
