You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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