Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
