He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
