why didn't you poke me back
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
