I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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