dude i'm inner monologue high
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
