I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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