Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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