you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
