bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
