is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
