no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
be right there i have to get my cape
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
