ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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