i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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