so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
did you just send me my own nude
i need some magic done to my vagina
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
