Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's Friday. Sex?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
