Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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