i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
