threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have aggressive nipples.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
