My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
