Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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