Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You were trust falling into bushes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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