he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
