dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
