oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
