I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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