My room smells like vodka and shame
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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