Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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