I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
