Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
