my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
