garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
