What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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