I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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