Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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