How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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