Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
