Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
