Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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