This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
