I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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