There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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