so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
