I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
