I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
