Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
