Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
