Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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