We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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