I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
